dictum: "if i can stop one heart from breaking,
i shall not live in vain;
if i can ease one life the aching,
or cool one pain,
or help one fainting robin
unto his nest again,
i shall not live in vain."
-emily dickinson

a while ago, i pleaded with God to guard something that didn't belong to me in the first place. i placed the key to my heart in God's palm, and closed His fingers around it. i feel light-hearted in knowing the Sovereign has flawlessly orchestrated and intertwined billions of lives for billions of years.

but why do i callously withdraw when all individuals cross an intangible heart boundary? why do i have an escapist mentality? is my heart now closed to everyone, not just in the context of romance?

what is deception? to what extent is it forgivable? how can i start trusting?

but why should it matter? when do i let go?

note to self: caveat emptor.

jacob from URL @ 11/26/2002 05:10:00 PM

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